This talk was done for Orange Leaders Curriculum. Being familiar with the script didn’t stop the words from ministering to me. I listened to this message over and over again.
It’s a sweet reminder that God created me, and I am not God. I can’t do it all. In my Martha moments, I have to remember to push myself to be more like Mary. I need Jesus. I need Him to pour into me. I need to rest.
Working more won’t make it look like I’m doing more. I need to sit at Jesus’ feet, allow Him to pour into me, and I need to get to a place where I can be still and rest.
When I do this, I will become refreshed and ready to continue the work He placed before me.
If you feel like you have the spirit of busyness, stop and recharge. Learn how to rest. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but you need it. You can’t do the work when you’re worn out.
This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!” Psalm 118:24
I’m convinced that Monday is the most hated day of the week. To support this statement, I created a poll on social media after deciding to repost this blog. When I checked the data, 64% of my social media friends said they were not excited about Monday. Honey, what did Monday do to you?
If we can really be honest with ourselves, we don’t hate Monday; we hate that Monday is the day that constantly reminds us that we are not living in our purpose.
What is God calling you to do right now? Let me say this, living in your purpose doesn’t mean you have to quit our job. You can walk in your purpose at the very job you despise. God wants to use you in this season right where you are to prepare you for your next season. If you continue to hate this place, you will miss what He’s trying to do right now. Monday can’t continue to be your punching bag because God is not moving at the pace you want Him to move. Sis/Bro., God is calling you to work your gift right where you are.
Work unto the Lord in the place He has you until He moves you.
Instead of crying and complaining, make a decision to be obedient. God is ready to promote you, but you must show that you are prepared. Be faithful where you are. Be the light. Be grateful. Change your attitude and get up every Monday in expectation. Say, “God, can you show me the possibilities that you have for me today? Someone needs you, and God is not going to move you until your work is done where you are.
If you’re anxious about Monday, let these words fall off of your lips, “This is the day (yes, even on Monday) the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it. Because of my promise, Monday is no longer an enemy. I will embrace this day and move forward into my destiny.
If you have doubts about Monday, I urge you to seek God so He can reveal His purpose for your life. And, remember, purpose happens right where you. I can guarantee, once you find your purpose, Monday will no longer be an issue for you. You will embrace and love Monday because you will find; Monday wasn’t the issue, you were!
A lot of you will probably read the title, give me the side-eye, and say, “How can you give us advice on living single and satisfied when you’re coming home to a husband every day? GOODBYE, Ty!”
Listen, I get it. I understand your frustration with married women giving advice and a ten-step program on how to live single and satisfied while they are boo’d up with their husband. I know it’s annoying to see someone happily married only to go home every day to an empty house feeling like God isn’t going to come through for you. Sis, He has not forgotten about you, and His plans for your life are promising.
SometimesHispromise isn’t the life you dreamed of having.
Consider this. What if God called you to live a life of singleness and marriage is not in His plans for you? Will you still trust Him and believe that He is good? Will you be able to walk in His will for your life as a single and satisfied woman, or will you settle just to say you have a man?
Your single status isn’t a prison sentence. It’s a gift from God.
Being single is not a curse from God or a prison sentence, and it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul speaks of singlenesses as being a gift. That’s crazy, right? How can being a single woman be a gift? Well, Paul reminds us that being single allows you to be free to concentrate on pleasing God.
But, Ty, how can I be single, satisfied, and please God when I desire to be wife?
That’s a great question. God did not call us to be wives, He called us to be holy. Holiness does not mean that we automatically qualify to become a wife. That’s just an, “added unto thee” bonus. Becoming a wife may not be written in your story. I want you to focus more on God and being content with whatever plan He has for your life.
If you’re struggling during this time, here are a couple of ways to be satisfied in this season:
Concentrate on pleasing God. As a single woman, your eyes should be focused on eternity and doing God’s work. You should be walking boldly in your purpose, spending time with Him, submitting to His will, serving others, and living a life that’s pleasing to God. The more you lean into the Word the more satisfied you will be with the woman He called you to be.
Live your life! Don’t miss out on God’s plan for your life because you’re seeking a man more than you’re seeking Him. Babygirl, LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE! Get a passport and travel. Move to a different city. Sign up for that 5K. Hang out with friends. Finish that degree. Start that business. Accept the offer for the new job. Get that haircut you’ve been wanting for the past six months. Create a bucket list. Go to a concert. Splurge, hunty! What I’m trying to say is, LIVE right now!
Get to know you! Do you know who you are? I mean, really, do you? Being single gives you the opportunity to seek God and find out who you are in Him. It causes you to focus on what He said about you, leads you on the path to being whole, and allows you to see yourself as He sees you.
Being single has its advantages. I’m a whole wife, mother, business owner and part-time caregiver for my mom. My life is crazy. My time is split between cooking, cleaning, making sure my house is in order, scheduling the week for homeschool, sex, trying to schedule date nights, making sure the kids get to their after-school activities, making sure my business runs smoothly, etc. Chile, I’m tired just typing this. Wait, and I forgot to add getting up at 4:45 (when I’m not burnt out) just so that I can have quiet time with God. As a single woman, you don’t have those responsibilities. Your entire life is YOURS!Enjoy it, baby. I know marriage looks beautiful, but it’s a lot of work. I am committed to God, my husband, children, and purpose. Your only commitment is to God and He wants to use you to do the work while you’re available to Him.
Prepare yourself to be whole instead of being a wife. People are making money off of teaching women how to be wives instead of being whole. Your goal isn’t to learn how to be a wife. Your focus is to be a whole. If you’re broken, seek God, and get the help you need, whether that’s through counseling from a pastor or a therapist. When you’re whole, you will automatically position yourself to be the kind of woman that will be found by a man if that’s in God’s will for your life.
Understand that being married will not meet your needs. Babbbbby! Marriage does not eliminate your problems, it only magnifies them. Hello somebody! I was a fool when I was single, and when I got married to my husband, I was still a fool. (I was a little crazy. God had to work on me.) If you’re lonely when you’re single, you will be lonely married. If you can’t handle your finances when you’re single, you will be a wife that mismanages money. If you have not healed from your past as a single woman, you will enter into a marriage as a hurt wife. It’s not a man’s responsibility to meet your needs.
Whatever is in God’s will for your life will happen in His time. There is nothing you can do to rush the process or Him. Stop trying and enjoy the season you’re in. Trust and believe that He isn’t going to withhold anything good from you.
My prayer is that God opens up your heart to receive and your ears to listen. Girl, enjoy your single life.
Just recently, I had a conversation with one of my friends about our parents and how we are dealing with their current diagnosis. Both of our parents are suffering from Dementia, which is a horrible disease that affects their memory. It was refreshing to speak to someone, (outside of family) who is going through the same process that I’m going through. We were able to laugh about our experiences, be open about our pain, and share what was really on our heart.
In the middle of our conversation, my friend said, “I don’t understand why my father has this terrible disease. He was/is a good man, and THIS is his end. THIS!! I could relate. When my mother was diagnosed in 2014, I remember being so mad at God. My mother was/is a good woman and has done so much for so many people. For the life of me, I didn’t understand why this would be her final sentence before she left this earth. Dementia has taken her memory, ability to do day to day activities, some of her vocabulary, and a lot of self-care skills. It hurts me every time she says, “I just wish you knew what was going on in my mind. It’s like I’m going crazy. But, I’m not crazy, right? I want to be better. I want to remember.” I’ve watched my mother decline rapidly, and, for the life of me, I can’t articulate what it’s done to me emotionally for the last four years. As we walk this journey, I’ve come to accept that Dementia will take everything from my mom, BUT her love of God.
Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.
Job was a man that trusted God. As much as he loved God, he still had a difficult life. He lost everything. Even though he lost everything and went through every human emotion, he STILL trusted God. In the end, God didn’t restore what Job lost because he was good, He restored everything because he trusted Him.
What are you going through right now that is making your faith waver? Someone reading this may have lost a loved one, is in debt and is about to lose everything, just received an awful diagnosis, recently got fired, has a failed business, just received a foreclosure notice, is on the brink of divorce, is not speaking to a family member, suffering silently, etc. Just because you’re going through these things doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love you and that He’s not good. Your circumstances don’t determine the depth of God’s love for you. He loves you unconditionally.
God is not punishing you, whatever is happening to you is for Him to get the glory. Even when I have moments when I feel like I’m breaking, and I can’t see God in my circumstances, I’m reminded that He’s faithful. I lift my eyes up and trust Him. Yes, my mom is suffering, but that doesn’t mean that God is not good.
He is good, and He’s using me and my voice to proclaim His faithfulness and goodness…
That statement slaps me in the face every time I think about how every discipline method I’ve used for my first child was thrown out of the window when my second child arrived. This is the child that God blessed me with when I thought I had parenting down. As a matter of fact, after my first child, I thought about writing a book called, How to Parent Your Child: 30 Ways to Discipline without Breaking a Sweat. I was just that good!
I was feeling myself until April 1, 2010.
G looks just like her dad, but she acts like me. She entered the world, wrecked our lives, and we haven’t been the same since. She’s our strong-willed, independent, go-getter, risk-taker, hard worker, junk-talker, comedian, won’t take no for an answer, loud, leader, don’t start none and it won’t be none, socialite, fashionista, gymnast that loves Jesus. Wait, that sounds just like me minus the fashion and athleticism. Every day she wakes up the world is going to know that she’s alive. She’s turned our lives upside down, and, for me, has been the most challenging child to raise. There have been many nights when I cried out to God because I thought that I was a horrible parent. I used every parenting strategy known to man, and none of them worked. My first child was so easy, but this one made me throw my hands up..and they stayed there…and they stayed there.
It wasn’t that I was a horrible parent, it was just that the child that God gave me was showing me who I was before I met Him.
We all have a child that’s just like us. Have you ever looked at your child and wept on the inside because all you see is you. I know, it’s hard to parent yourself. When I complain about how off the chain G is to my dad, his reply is always, “Leave that baby alone. That’s you. You used to do the same thing.” (insert eye roll and forgiveness prayer).
The bible teaches us to, “Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart.” Training up a child doesn’t mean that you’re going to create a perfect toddler or teenager. It just means that when your child is an adult, they will remember all of the biblical wisdom and scriptures that you imparted to them throughout their life, (i.e., while they were throwing a tantrum in the middle of aisle three at Target or stealing your car to go sneak out with their little boyfriend).
It is my job as a parent to train up my child in Christ just as my parents did for me. The truth is, I’m going to fail, make bad decisions, and hurt my child’s feelings, but I’m also going to depend on God to show me who she is in HIM so that He can guide me when I discipline her. The goal is not to discipline your child to hurt them, the goal is to discipline them to guide them in the path of righteousness. This doesn’t mean that being a parent is easy, it just means that I need to depend on God to lead me in this area. The very attributes about my child that drives me crazy now will work out in her favor later.
I made so many mistakes as a child, teenager, and young adult. Some of those mistakes almost cost me my life. I was G: strong-willed, independent, knuck if you buck, and a risk-taker. Every time I went against the will of God, I would hear my mom and dad’s voice in my ears repeating the Word of God. Their training and guidance caused me to pursue Him. It saved me. Now, I still have those same characteristics, but they just look different. I depend on Him. I am a risk taker in His will because of my faith, and I’ve learned how to accept no, especially if it’s not from God. I also won’t knuck unless we are called to turn over tables in the temple. 🙂
If you feel like you’re parenting a difficult child, you’re not alone. Here are some helpful tips that eased this journey. I’m still learning. As I am typing this she’s standing on a chair screaming, “Jesus, you are my Defender.” #HelpGod
Choose your battles. This is very important. Stop fussing about every little thing. I used to fuss when G changed five times during the day. Do you think I’m going to waste my breath fussing at a child that clearly loves fashion and has clothes everywhere? Nope! That’s the least of my worries.
Call out their sin, show them how it doesn’t reflect obedience to God, and correct them with scripture. I’ve noticed that when I have to speak to G, and I show her that her sin is not pleasing to God, I receive a different response. She doesn’t want to disappoint God. I will say something like, “G, think about your actions. Do you think it reflects what it means to be a child of God? Did you choose the best response or action? How could you have responded differently in a respectful way?
Discipline them. Every parent has a different approach. Spanking or timeout doesn’t help my child. What helps is taking away her ability to change clothes five times a day or not being able to go on a playdate.
Love them IN and BEYOND that moment. You will win every time you lead with love. As much as you want to show your child who the boss is, they don’t care. Period!
Be positive and change your language. Children that are strong-willed always push back. You’ll lose every time. Call them up and not out. When I learned to have a positive attitude and approach situations differently, her attitude changed as well.
Don’t get frustrated. You may not see it now, but God is doing a work in them. Trust Him and the process.
Be honest with yourself! 9 times out of 10 you won’t get it right. As a matter of fact, I’m currently yelling at her instead of doing numbers 1-6. I’m human. Pray for me.
I hope this helps you. Let us pray
You are a good, good Father and the King of my Heart. We know that you will leave the 99 for one, because of your Reckless Love. But, How Can It Be that someone so little can run my life like this? As I offer this child to you, I’m going to count Oceans instead of sheep, because my feet are failing. I Can Only Imagine what you’re trying to do in me. I’m Surrounded, but I know that you fight my battles. All My Hope is in You, Jesus. I will worship you A Billion X if you just help me. I know that you are an Unstoppable God. Would You Do It Again for me? I’m praying Here As in Heaven. Amen.
Children are a special gift from God. One of the most important jobs of a parent is to protect your children as they navigate life while raising them in the admonition of the Lord.
As for me and my house…
When our children were much younger, people would always give us the side-eye when we told them that we didn’t expose them to certain music, books, and television shows. They thought we were silly and too cautious. One person even told us that we were too strict and that we should give our children more freedom. For a brief second, their comments made me question if we were doing the right thing, and then I quickly remembered that we are our children’s covering and it’s up to us to make sure that they are not exposed to things that go against the will of God. My husband and I have passcodes on the TV and computer, and we monitor the music they listen to. A show may appear innocent because it’s a cute cartoon character, or a song may seem appropriate because it’s on the Kid’s Bop album, but Satan can use those avenues to connect with your children and introduce them to different spirits. He does not care that they are children. Because children don’t understand demonic attacks and spiritual warfare, it’s our job as parents to teach them how to recognize when they are being attacked by the enemy and to equip them to fight back with the word of God. It’s also our job to guard them against anything that will give the enemy a portal to enter into their minds and hearts.
Every day we are in a spiritual battle, and the enemy wants nothing more than to take our children out. He realizes that there is a calling on their lives and they were created with a future and hope. If he can introduce them to worldly things, spirits, and demonic thoughts through TV, books, and music, he can make them believe things that are contrary to the word of God, which will make them question God’s authority and who He called them to be.
Demons are real and do not care about a child’s age.
Listen! There are no baby, toddler, teenage or adult demons. Demons are demons! They know who God is, understand that Jesus has the authority, that they have no power, and they will STILL create havoc in your child’s life. Their job is to steal, kill, and destroy.
I remember when Mckenzie was born. God would wake me up in the middle of the night to stand over her and pray. When I approached her room, I would hear her talking in her sleep. I knew what was going on. I would gently approach her with oil and lay my hands on her and begin praying over her. I knew then that she wasn’t equipped to fight, but I could intercede for her. This was something that happened often. She would always tell us that she was scared to go to sleep and that she would have bad dreams. I knew this was an attack from the enemy. God had already told me that He was going to use Mac to break generational curses in our family. The enemy doesn’t like that. I made a decision to fight back. I don’t know about you, but I will not allow the enemy to have my children. He was messing with the wrong mama! I taught her how to fight in the spirit. I told her when the enemy speaks to her to declare the word of God over her life. One day, she came to us and said, “The devil said I don’t belong here. He’s trying to take me out.” I asked her what she said, and she responded, “I told him that I’m a child of God, I’m chosen, and I have a purpose. I rebuked that devil and called on the name of Jesus.” After that night, she hasn’t mentioned anything else about the enemy. There is something about teaching a child how to go to war for themselves that will serve notice to the enemy that they belong to the true and living God.
If your child is battling demons, please pray for and with them, and teach them how to fight back. Go into your war room and declare that the enemy will not have authority in your house and over your children.
Here are some tips. Hopefully, they will help you.
Be mindful of what they are watching and listening to. Be led by the Holy Spirit. Just because it’s a cartoon or on Kid’s Bop doesn’t make it holy.
Pray and teach your children how to pray. There is nothing like a parent that prays for and with their child.
Teach your children the word of God. This requires you to build a relationship with Christ, too. You can’t teach them what you don’t know. When the enemy tries to attack your child, the only way for them to fight back is with the word of God.
Stop watching all of those adult programs that are releasing demonic spirits inside of your house. And, you wonder why your kids are thinking about sex, are scared to go to sleep, or have bad attitudes. I know you’re grown, but you are inviting those foreign spirits inside of your house through your television shows, even if it’s after the “kids are asleep.” That’s the best time for the enemy to attack!
Call out Satan for who he is. Don’t play with him. Call that spirit out by name. He is a liar, wicked, an accuser and comes to steal, kill and destroy.
Watch the company you keep. Stop letting any and everybody come into your house. Spirits can pass from person to person and will wander from one place to another. They are looking for a place to enter, rest and torment. Don’t give them that power. Be the gatekeeper of your home.
Fight! The enemy does not have power over you or your children. He will not win the battle. God is on your side, and He has a plan for your family.
Thank you for blessing me with my child(ren). I will honor you by raising them in Your will. Continue to give me the strength that I need to walk this journey with them. When the enemy tries to attack my child(ren), please step in and help me fight the battle. I come against any demonic attack that’s trying to harm my child(ren), and I speak peace over them right now in the name of Jesus. I serve the enemy notice that he does not have the power over my household. Help me speak your Word and bring it back to my remembrance when I feel like the enemy is rising up against my family. Protect and guide us as we do your work and raise godly children. In your Name, we pray. Amen!
I love you guys, and I pray that this blessed you.
Last weekend, Clay Scroggins preached a word that convicted and changed me at the same time. It was one of those messages that caused you to say, “Hallelujah and ouch!” The title of the sermon was, White Noise. White noises are special sounds used to mask the sounds that we don’t want to hear in the background.
Mothers use white noises to calm their babies.
Adults use white noises to sleep.
And, I was using social media as a white noise to comfort me so that I wouldn’t have to deal with what was consuming me.
If you’ve ever had the chance to catch a glimpse of my life, you would probably say that looking at me makes you tired. At least that’s what my friends always tell me. I do it all. I’m a wife, mother, Momager, business owner, educator, speaker, friend, part-time caretaker for my mother who suffers from Dementia, and a “social media pastor.” My days run together and my nights are spent trying to find rest. Honestly, some days, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.
During the message, Clay asked us to take a few moments to turn to our neighbor and say what our white noise was. I knew what mine was, but I wasn’t going to confess it out loud. It was none of my neighbor’s business. I mean, come on! My neighbor was my husband. I was looking at my him, but I didn’t say it.
“The danger is not the white noise but what the noise keeps us from.”
Social media was the white noise that was keeping me from confronting my anxiety and frequent bouts of sadness due to my overwhelming lifestyle. I thought that it would be the place of escape because I enjoyed sharing my life, ministering to people and sharing my testimonies in hopes that it would point people to Jesus. I thought it was my place of peace. I was wrong.
In returning and rest shall you be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.
In this passage, God was speaking to the people of Judah who rebelled against Him. They were looking for comfort, advice, and relief from a place that couldn’t offer that. God reminded them that returning to Him will save them, and in quietness and confidence, they will be strengthened. I realized that social media wasn’t my place of rest. I couldn’t find comfort, confidence, relief or be strengthened there. I was using it to drown out God’s voice and was missing what He was trying to do in and through me.
What is your white noise?
Maybe it’s wine after a long day of work, a relationship/situationship that’s keeping you occupied, work, television, video games, food, etc. Whatever it is, cut it down so that you can get to the bottom of your issue and hear God. It wasn’t until I stepped away from social media that I found that I had given it the lead part in my story, and it was causing me to miss Jesus’ invitation for rest in Him.
A peace that surpasses all understanding…
I decided to choose peace. I disconnected from Facebook and decided that pouring into myself this season was what I needed. I’ve accepted the fact that I can’t be everything to everybody and that’s perfectly fine. I took steps to make myself whole again. I stopped being so accessible. Every time I turned around my inbox was full of requests for prayer and help. It’s a dangerous situation when you’re trying to give life to someone else, and you’re dying on the inside. I realized that I was pouring out and losing myself all in the name of “pointing people to Jesus.” I took steps to sit on someone’s couch that would listen to me. Don’t ever let someone tell you that going to see a counselor is crazy when you have Jesus. No! What’s crazy is suffering in silence. Get the help you need. I also realized that what God has for me is for me and comparing my journey to another person’s story was going to give me anxiety and not peace. I started trusting God by returning to Him for rest. Turning down the white noise of social media has given me so much peace. It’s allowed me to confront the enemy (IN-A-ME) of anxiety and sadness.
Turn your white noise down. Your rest will never be found in (insert whatever it is), being more to others than you are to yourself, comparing your life to someone else’s, keeping up with the trends, or seeking the approval of others. Your rest is in Him. Silence the white noise so that you can hear from God. Return to Him for your place of rest. He loves you.